12 Common Traits of (Not-shit) Entrepreneurs

There’s an old saying in marketing: know your customer – know everything about the bastard.

The thinking here is there’s a significant portion of your customer base which share a bunch of commonalities. These could be anything, and in no way need to make any sense.

For example you could be running a snake burger joint, and it could be that 55% of your customers are Alabama-born hillbillies with fine moustaches, love the Big Bang Theory, hate avocados, and their childhood dream was to a stripper in East Moscow.

It doesn’t have to make sense. Often it won’t. That doesn’t matter just find the patterns and exploit them. (This is one major positive of marketing through facebook).

Ok how say you have this knowledge – how exactly can you exploit this for big bucks? Simple. You now craft your message to this strange subset of the population. You could begin a sales letter in the following fashion:

“I remember when I was a young boy back home in Alabama. So young I hadn’t even grow into my moustache. My poppa would take me the strip joint and if I was a good boy, would let me stuff a few of them dollar bills up a few skank’s clams. I remember looking at their derrieres (or booty as these youngsters call it nowadays) dreaming someday a Russian man may do the same to me. Boy they were the good days.

It’s not that today is necessary any better or worse. After all they never had Big Bang Theory back in those days, but they still had those slimy disgusting cotton-pickin’ avocados.

Well if you’re like me then I wanna let you in a secret which brings the same delight as that at the ol’ strip club. Roger’s flame-grilled Snake Burger Joint makes a man wetter than…”

And so on.


This is your client’s dream

Unenlightened marketers may think – “but wait, that letter won’t make sense to just about EVERYONE else”*.

Grasshopper how naïve you are.

See by honing your message to a subset you attract this subset like moths to the flame. In short fuck the others and make these avocado-hatin’ striptease dreamin’ rednecks your fanboys. You’ll make far more money this way, then having a limp-dicked one-size-fits-all message.

Basically anyone who’s got past the stage of pushing over the top hype-y internet marketing** knows that the sale is made through connection – the relationship – the feeling of this guy understands me and therefore what he’s flogging me must be great.

Anyway the point of the last 9 or so paragraphs is that I seem to be noticing a little pattern with the cool entrepreneurs I’ve met over the last few years.

These are:

  1. Don’t care for the watch the news (they may prefer an outcome – Trump or Hillary – or the Brexit Leave or Remain, but ultimately they don’t give a fuck)
  2. Have some sort of obscure health or fitness kick (Organic eating, Paleo, bodyweight training etc)
  3. Understand that sales and marketing are the most important part of any business
  4. Have some sort of mental health routine (e.g. meditation, martial arts, radical undoing etc)
  5. Generally tend to be poor to some degree in making an effort to spend time with friends and loved ones. It’s not that they don’t care – they do, know they should, and often feel bad about it – but keep getting caught up with stuff
  6. Beat themselves up often with what they deem disappointments – even though outsiders envy and admire them
  7. Recreation is discussing marketing and sales strategies
  8. Hate morons who can’t understand that they can’t “spare five minutes” on demand
  9. Roll their eyes when they run into “entrepreneur” who is focusing on “building his brand”
  10. Roll their eyes when someone proclaims they have a great idea for something
  11. Nothing beats the feel of wrestling with a sales prospect who originally said no, but then later said yes through masterful persuasion (this is orgasmic!)
  12. Think of 9-5 jobbers as idiots, and feel superior to them
  13. Have major shiny object syndrome – and hate it (except the shiny object here is a marketing idea or course, not a retard iPhone)

There’s probably a few more, but I feel like I’m trying to make shit up now. Last thing I want is for this to sound like a buzzfeed article. And I feel it is.


*You could also segment your customer base and market to only those relevant. But that’s beyond this post (feel free to google it if interested).

**Saying that, do you like the headline for this post? 😉


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